I suffer from this constant guilt of feeling ashamed or disgusted when I eat foods I am not supposed to. I am so strict about food and knowing the consequences of eating too much or the “forbidden” foods. Lately, I feel out of control about my food plans and often because I have set such strict standards and rules about my food, I feel like I am constantly rationalizing with myself, I haven’t cheated all week, so eating a sub will not be a bad cheat and I will convince myself to eat potato chips and a chocolate chip cookie. My start and stop food cycle repeats repeatedly. Another thing I do is, when something bad or an obstacle pops up in my daily life, I automatically think of food I will order from fast food places or have food delivered from the grocery store. I do not stop and think rationally. When I joke about the foods that are my die-hard absolute favorites to people, family, friends, healthcare professionals I make myself feel better about eating these foods because they are laughing with me. In turn, I think, yes, it is ok to eat French fries and chocolate chip cookies. This feeling of guilt and feeling ashamed about what I am doing with my food and what I am eating leads me to a constant state of humiliation, lack of control and I become very moody and unhappy. This is not good or healthy for me. How do I change the way I approach food? As a health coach, I can guide others, but I cannot seem to guide myself.
Am I stressed? Am I bored? What is it that is causing this roller coaster ride of food choices? I know I have extremely strict food rules. I label foods “bad”, “not allowed”, I have mentally embedded into my brain that there is food that is “right” and other foods as “wrong”. I’ve created this temple of forbidden foods in my brain. This causes me to crave and want the wrong foods all the time. When I started Keto a few years ago, I created some of my favorite foods that I used to eat before. Examples are cheeseburgers, pizza, wings, subs, tater tots as a few and converted them to more of a keto style food. I created an amazing big mac salad, a cheeseburger casserole, cauliflower tater tots, wings with no breading and this amazing blue cheese dip. I was able to address my “bad” foods lifestyle to a more of a keto lifestyle. This worked for a couple of years and now it is not. I have resorted back to my prior eating habits, and I am ashamed and miserable.
Do I remove this temple of forbidden foods in my head? Instead of giving in to this “forbidden” food cycle I need to ask myself “why do I want these foods?” Could I make it keto and enjoy it? Could I create a Keto Temple of Food that’s not forbidden? Will this help lessen my “want” to eat foods I know is not ok for me. Can I Eat my amazing keto cheeseburger casserole topped with my fabulous sauce and give myself permission to enjoy my healthier version casserole and be so proud of overcoming this terrible food obstacle. Give myself instant praise for taking the step to stop and check my mindset and know I am aware of my food choices, and I did not give in. I do not do this enough. Make keto chocolate chip cookies so I don’t feel cheated. I am not eliminating or forbidding myself from eating cookies. Ok, so I went over my carb limit, instead of feeling guilty and ashamed, bring positivity to my mind that I am not eating a cookie that is 46 carbs, its only 5 carbs a cookie. Instead of talking so negatively to myself and judging me, I need to ask myself how I can do things differently instead of dwelling and thinking of this repetitive cycle of “bad” foods and convert my attitude, behavior, and thoughts to a more positive approach. Still working on this…