A sore subject for me. I want to say I am disciplined to stay on track with my health and personal goals. I read somewhere that discipline leads to good habits, habits lead to consistency, consistency leads to growth. This seems simple and logical, but extremely hard for me, why is that? I have goals. We all do. Sometimes we share them with others and many times we keep them to ourselves. I remember a time I mentioned a goal I set for myself and did not follow through with it. The retaliation I received from people was astounding. I stopped sharing my goals because I did not want to hear them bitch at me. Is this good?
Another thing I read about discipline. Discipline is the strongest form of self-love. Discipline is ignoring our life’s pleasures for the bigger reward that is coming. It is loving yourself enough to do whatever it is we need to do knowing that we will achieve something great. Discipline is having tunnel vision to stay focused and believe in yourself for the biggest reward at the end of the goal. Sounds wonderful right? So why is it that I cannot seem to use this amazing simple written thought-out thing? Does this mean I do not love myself enough to make the effort to be more disciplined in my quest for a healthy body and life?
You must be clear on your why so you will have the resilience to overcome the inevitable obstacles in your path. I think that for me to understand this sentence that I read, first I need a vision. If I do not have the vision, I will never change. My vision is to be healthy, and I want to walk again. I must ask myself every single day how bad do I want this vision? Every day is a constant battle to just get through my day. Motivation requires the desire to want something, therefore discipline is necessary to change. Sounds like I get it. So why is it difficult?
As my sister Pam stated… “A sore subject for me”. Discipline, the easiest thing in the world to do, yet the hardest thing in the world to accomplish at the same time. The question becomes this, how bad do you want it? How bad do you want to lose weight? How bad do you want to be financially independent? How bad do you want anything that does improve your life? The starting and falling off the wagon is getting old for me. I am, or should I say, was an athlete. I know better. Practice DOES make perfect or close to it. Why can’t I apply what I did in my college days to my everyday life? Is it laziness? Because here is the key, discipling yourself does get easier when you keep at it and do not let distractions or excuses interrupt your routine.
Have I accepted that I am okay with how I am? The answer is no because I do want more. I just do not want to do the work. I want a magic pill that makes everything as it should be, and I feel better overnight. But as I already know, it does not work that way. When does it become enough for me, and I tell myself “Just Do It”? I must address this just like my sister Pam can only answer for herself, because obviously being disciplined does not matter how it is said to me whether it is in a motivational or degrading tone, it does not make me want to change. I do know this, I will not give up, and I will find my own path to being disciplined.