Disability… What does this mean to people? I posted something on my Facebook wall from a page regarding Equality House… It started out with “No one said…. No one championed…. about Black Lives Matter, LBGQT rights, and Men’s rights” … An acquaintance made a comment on my wall “Everyone is forgetting about Handicap Rights and Equality or Equal treatment. Kinda speaks volumes when the most vulnerable among us aren’t even thought of!!!” For a split second, I thought that this had nothing to do with the post, then I thought wait a minute, yes it does. I have what I consider a minor disability which has never stopped me from doing anything in life. I am what is called a high functioning hard of hearing person. American Sign Language is my first language, then English is my second language. I can do what a lot of hearing people do, but now, it takes a little more concentration to make sure I am hearing correctly because I have lost my hearing completely in my left ear. Is it frustrating? You bet it is, but I keep going. It is all I know. I do not give up. The reason I started out with this is because with my “minor” disability, I can work, earn a living, have health insurance, and I’m sure you all see where I am going with this. There are all walks of life with people that have a disability of some kind, and they apologize for being an inconvenience. I am one of them. Just recently I apologized to someone for not hearing them, because of the annoyance I saw on their face when they had to repeat themselves along with the “eye roll or the disdain on their face”. This is something I have dealt with all my life. I do not apologize for this anymore because it is who I am. I am tired of accommodating other people, so I rarely do it.
The real reason for this post is my sister, but I need to point out that there are other people with disabilities, and they go through their own personal hell. I have been going home every month since June or July to help my sister for a long weekend or a weekend. It is one thing to “listen” to her talk about her disability and to witness it. These are two totally different things. My sister Pam has Multiple Sclerosis. Where am I going with this? Well, I will be the first to admit that I got tired of hearing her say “I have MS” every chance she got. I will be the first to admit that I thought it was not that big of a deal, but I was wrong.
One thing we were taught growing up was that you took care of yourself, and you don’t rely on anyone else. Here is the thing, “back in the day”, my sister could type over 120 words a minute, and when she was under a deadline, she could do more than 120 words a minute. Construction, whether it was being an assistant to all the project managers or accounting as it was her forte. She was VERY good at her job. The last few times I have been home watching her and remembering how jealous I was and in awe of her because of her ability to type over 120 words a minute. Now she “pecks” at a keyboard and holds her cell phone in one hand so she can type with the other. I cannot imagine her frustration of KNOWING she can type over 120 words a minute, her brain is registering the thought process of moving her fingers that fast, but the connection from her brain to her fingers is barely there. PLEASE DO NOT get me wrong, she is still VERY independent! There are some things that she needs help with because she cannot do them alone. The last time I went home was in September, I hadn’t planned on going back until October, but there was a death in the family. Staying with her, she rented a van that could accommodate her 450-pound wheelchair that was built to suit her needs and still allow her to be independent. I will have to admit, it was the coolest thing to drive and for Pam to be able to attend the family funeral, she was relieved that she could go! I took the time to talk to the person who was “educating” me about the van, how to open the doors, lock my sister’s wheelchair in its place, etc…. The one question I asked was do they sell them. Yes, they do. They sell them for about $85k or higher. Talk about being stunned!!
Now that you all have a SMALL insight into my sister’s background, where am I going with this? I now know why she says she has MS every chance she gets. In a small way I don’t blame her at all, does it get tiring, yes it does. She has been advocating for herself in the last 10 years since she has been on a slow decline with her health. I know this is very basic information, but with MS, it is a very debilitating disease. Depending on the stages of this disease, it could take years before getting worse, it could be gradual before getting worse, or it could happen overnight. With everything that is going on in this world, who will be looking out for those that are disabled? The government is in such an uproar that they cannot even agree to disagree. I am not writing this to start a “commentary” on my wall, but for something that people need to see this from a disabled person’s perspective. There are all kinds of people with disabilities people out there. Unless you own your own business or are well off, people with disabilities struggle.
We all know that most companies will not hire people who are disabled. All companies and corporations do not hire disabled people because it is not productive for them. So, how does a disabled person live? They must rely on government assistance and now people are utilizing the “go fund me” to help with additional expenses that come with being disabled. Sometimes that doesn’t even work because of all the scamming that goes on today. Even if a financially stable person were to become disabled, their personal money would dwindle because it is expensive to be disabled. My sister is her own advocate, has been for the last 10 years. She is now posting about how systems have failed her. She has forwarded me all the email correspondence and I am appalled at the responses from these places that are supposed to help disabled people. Equipment does not last forever no matter how well you take care of it. I know my sister, regardless of how many times she says she is going to give up, she doesn’t. She takes her moment to rant and rave about this debilitating disease she has, then she goes back to the drawing board and starts all over again. The moral of the story is, be kind to disabled people. You don’t know their story or what they have done to find help or assistance. If you can help them, please do it, they will be the one eternally grateful person that you have ever met. And remember, their lives are just as important as BLM and LBGQT people. You get where I’m going with this.